Emotional Eating

We all have those horrible days where everything goes wrong and we run for the fridge/cubords looking for that sweetness to make us feel better.

Yesterday was that day when I got into an argument with my hubby. Soon my sad feet wandered to the kitchen searching in vain for sweets to melt the hurt. My fridge is empty and my cuboards bare of anything. I needed to go shopping soon but if I go grocery shopping in this mood i’ll be in trouble with the diet. I’ll give in to the candy isle and weigh 100kilos. So I kept drinking water everytime I wandered to the kitchen. It was NOT satisfying my sweet need. But it was saving my diet from emotional abuse. This taught me an important lesson…. I should not keep sweets stashed anywhere or I’ll be in trouble when it comes to emotions.
Today’s been better and I’m glad I left off the candy but last night hubby brought food for us and it was Chicken and rice and at first I resisted just becuase I was mad at him still and didn’t want to acknowledge that he was being nice. Then after he slept I served it to my daughter and since I hadn’t given into sweets, my nose ticked, my tounge twitched at the alluring aroma of the chicken and I weakly gave in to a plate full of chiken and rice, with laban (yogurt plain), and fiery hot salsa all mixed together. I felt better emotion wise but I was angry at myself kilo wise because I felt tomorrow I would have hit the next kilo down if I hadn’t eaten. SO we have to take the Highs with the Lows and keep striving. Even though I messed up still at least I messed up nutritionally better than a plate full of coconut cookies.

Today I didn’t go down the extra kilo but there is still to the end of the month! Which is why I only weigh myself “officially” monthly to allow for the give and take of the month. Otherwise I weigh myself multiple times a day just to see how the weight fluctuates and how my body feels acordingly so I know in the future just by feeling, how much weight I should be loosing.
It may be a weird system but it’s my system and I like it. Even when the scale goes up I still look at the numbers down to imagine how it will be when the scale says lower and I look to the higher numbers to remeber when I felt like the number I’m at now was imposible to reach.
The glass is always half full.

–Oh and I’m not mad at him anymore…

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Zippers

I’ve had the same clothes for a long time now. When I first went to Lebanon I brought only the clothes that were modest and flattered my figure (which weren’t many). Once there I got two new outfits, a mess of long house abayas, an outside abaya, and a bunch of hijabs. Over the years I’ve gotten more outside abayas, and when I went to USA I got a whole mess of new skirts and pants and such.
After I came back to Lebanon from my visit to USA I was pregnant with my second baby. All these nice pants and skirts slowly began being stretched (since I knew it was useless to buy new maternity clothes) and many pants lost the battle of the baby-bulge and popped their zippers or blew out the seams on the butt. Even my skirts with zippers I could only wear them with the zippers open and eventaully under the baby bump. After all this weight loss I’ve been slowly seeing how many skirts I can zip up and so far not many of the tighter ones.
Until yesterday! I pulled on my beautiful black, with big blue and brown flowers, skirt and winced as I zipped it up in the back and gave a sigh of relief as it zipped cleanly and it didn’t hurt to breathe. It fits very snuggly around the middle I admit, but at least it zips! It’s encouraging me to really keep going and work on every kilo seriously.
-Maybe one day I’ll actaully get around to sewing back up the seams of the blow out pants and look better than before in them too.

Temptation

We are surrounded by temptation everywhere in this life….

One of my biggest temptations is sweets! AHHH CHOCOLATE, COCONUT COOKIES, CAKES, PIES, MOUGLI, SUGAR!!!!!!!!!

I have been doing excellent because with limited money means not buying too much junk and I’ve been loosing more than average this month BUT THEN I was invited to a party and for the first time in ages there was a BUFFET OF SWEETS!  I started modestly with one coconut cookie…….then a sliver of cake…..then a mouthwatering gooey chocolate-chip cookie….then there was delicious Moughli i haven’t had for so long…THEN another coconut cookie!  It was horrible I kept saying ok last sweet! Don’t ruin all the hard work you’ve done this month! Did I listen to myself? Nope……

So Now my scale has whopped back up and I’m angry at myself.  And angry at my host for putting a lucious buffet…. Why couldn’t I just resist temptation and knock it off?  Too long without sugar is my answer!  Maybe if I just let myself have a “treat” a little more often then i wont be like a kid in a candy shop when I see a piece of sugar.  Could be…. Now I will have to really double the exersizes I need to do.

New Blog

So this is my new blog for how my weight loss is going because my other blog:
http://americanmuslimawriter.blogspot.com/
Didn’t have room for this other goal in my life of loosing weight.

I provided backposts about the weight loss I’ve undergone so far but from this post on is the juice of the matter. It’s constantly under construction so don’t be surprised if one day you come on and there are like 20 posts…just kidding..well maybe.. anyways…

Welcome to my new blog and I hope you all will GET SWEATY WITH ME!!!!

Weigh In #9

Salam and welcome to the Ninth Weigh in!

Begining: 108 kilos | 240 lbs

Weigh in: 88 kilos | 195 lbs

Loss of: 2 kilos | 4.4 lbs

Total Loss: 20 kilos | 45 lbs

Goal of: 70 kilos | 155 lbs

My surprise for Feb. was a pick of a semi-expensive watch. My watch (cheap ones I buy every few months) broke long ago and I’ve been timeless since. We were leaving Carrefour (supermarket) at Al Jimi Mall and my darling hubby said, “Let’s go pick out a watch!” I was estatic! We aren’t very well off so it was putting him back to buy me a nicer watch than I usually get. I struggled weight wise and so he felt struggling moetary wise was worth it. So we browsed and the thing about my husband is he has modern tastes and I have elegant old fashioned tastes so our choice of watches were way off. My dream watch was a jewled face and jewels on the points of 12,3,6,9 and no numbers. Ahh they had it! They had a lovely collection of just the right style i love and my darling hubby gave in and let me get my style. He origionally wasn’t going to go very high (not more than 150dhs (about $35USD) he first said) but the plain but less expensive ones weren’t my dream watch. We hemmed and hawed around and me batting lashes every so often to get him to pay more…..
Finally for 200dhs ($55) we got the one I’ve always wanted with 2 year warantee. Ah it’s my joy! He got himself a free NICE pen with my purchase so we exchanged purchases like presents hehehe it was funny. But he was seriously proud of me and that felt good!
This was at the begining of Feb since I lost the kilo to 89 quickly. This month has been great for weight loss and I’m looking forward to really stepping it up now that I passed my origional goal in it’s entirety (20 kilos by 20 months). At the end of Feb I thought I should really try my best this coming month and do more exersizes in March! I’ve completed my goal and I will keep striving to reach 70!